He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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