I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
