God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
