he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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