I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
