its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
