Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
