I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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