Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
In America we eat man semen.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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