so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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