I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
