She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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