What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
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good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
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Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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