i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
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I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
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Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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