I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.