I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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