so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
