if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
