I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
we're so committed to being not committed
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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