I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
