I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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