Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You ruined the universe
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
