dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
