If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
