Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
