He disabled his match.com account in front of me
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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