Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize