we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
it glows. i had to have it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
