It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
youre lurking in front of me
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
