love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Drunk is a universal language darling
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
