I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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