You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
