I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
