Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
