So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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