what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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