Cold hands, warm shart.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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