Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
