Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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