we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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