Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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