so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Quick, to the slutcave!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
