Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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