I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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