my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize