omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
