don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
