I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
