my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I am available for nakedness
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
