Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
