why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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