Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
