My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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