it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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