how can u be prego again
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
