Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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