the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
my being single is dangerous.
She even gives head with a lisp.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
