its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
