I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
