Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
