Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
