if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
