I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
