he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
