I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
